Steven Hayes

ACT Index
1. Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
2. The ACT Hexaflex: The Six Core Processes of Psychological Flexibility
3. ACT for Specific Conditions
5. ACT Exercises and Techniques: Practical Tools for Building

If you have been searching for information about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), you may be wondering: What is ACT therapy? How does ACT work? Is ACT effective for anxiety, trauma, depression, or stress? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is one of the most widely researched and influential psychotherapy approaches developed in recent decades and is used by psychologists and mental health professionals around the world to help individuals build resilience, improve emotional well-being, and create more meaningful lives.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (commonly referred to as ACT, pronounced as the word "act") is an evidence-based behavioral therapy that helps individuals develop psychological flexibility—the ability to remain present, open, and engaged in life even in the presence of difficult thoughts, emotions, memories, or physical sensations. Rather than attempting to eliminate psychological pain, ACT teaches people how to change their relationship with inner experiences so that they can live more fully in accordance with their values.
ACT has been successfully applied to a wide range of concerns, including anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, trauma, OCD, chronic stress, grief, relationship difficulties, chronic pain, substance use disorders, ADHD, and many other emotional and behavioral challenges.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy was developed during the 1980s by psychologist and colleagues Kelly Wilson and Kirk Strosahl. Hayes' work emerged from a growing recognition that many traditional approaches to emotional suffering focused heavily on changing or controlling thoughts and feelings. While these approaches could be helpful, Hayes observed that efforts to avoid, suppress, or eliminate unwanted internal experiences often contributed to additional suffering.
This observation led to a fundamental question:
What if psychological health is not primarily about feeling good, but about living well regardless of what we feel?
The answer eventually became the foundation of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Rather than viewing painful emotions as symptoms to eliminate, ACT conceptualizes suffering as a normal and inevitable part of the human experience. The goal of therapy becomes helping individuals develop a different relationship with their thoughts and feelings so that they can pursue meaningful goals and values even when emotional discomfort is present.
Since its development, ACT has grown into one of the most extensively researched behavioral therapies in the world. Hundreds of scientific studies have demonstrated its effectiveness across numerous psychological conditions and populations.
Many people seeking therapy have spent years struggling against anxiety, depression, self-criticism, painful memories, or uncomfortable emotions. They may find themselves caught in a constant battle:
Unfortunately, these efforts often create what ACT calls experiential avoidance—the tendency to avoid or control unwanted internal experiences. While avoidance may provide temporary relief, it frequently narrows a person's life and reinforces suffering over time.
ACT proposes an alternative:
Instead of asking, "How do I get rid of these thoughts and feelings?"
ACT asks:
"How can I live a meaningful life even when difficult thoughts and feelings show up?"
This shift represents one of the central ideas of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
ACT is part of a larger scientific framework known as Contextual Behavioral Science (CBS).
Contextual Behavioral Science examines human behavior within the broader context of an individual's experiences, relationships, environment, culture, and personal history. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms, CBS seeks to understand how behaviors function within a person's life.
From this perspective, thoughts and emotions are not inherently good or bad. Instead, the focus is on whether our responses to these experiences move us toward or away from the life we want to live.
For example:
Anxiety itself may not be the primary problem.
Avoiding important experiences because of anxiety may be the problem.
Similarly, sadness is not necessarily unhealthy.
Withdrawing from meaningful relationships because of sadness may be what creates suffering.
This contextual approach helps explain why ACT focuses less on symptom reduction and more on increasing flexibility and engagement in valued living.
One of the unique features of ACT is that it is grounded in a scientific theory of human language and cognition known as Relational Frame Theory (RFT).
Relational Frame Theory attempts to explain how human language contributes both to extraordinary problem-solving abilities and to psychological suffering.
Human beings possess a remarkable ability to think symbolically. We can imagine future events, reflect on past experiences, compare ourselves to others, evaluate situations, and create complex stories about who we are.
These abilities are incredibly useful.
However, they also create opportunities for suffering.
For example:
RFT suggests that psychological suffering often arises not from experiences themselves, but from how we relate to our thoughts about those experiences.
ACT helps individuals develop greater flexibility in responding to thoughts, rather than becoming trapped by them.
At the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is the concept of psychological flexibility.
Psychological flexibility refers to the ability to:
Research consistently shows that psychological flexibility is associated with:
Psychological inflexibility, by contrast, often involves:
Much of ACT therapy focuses on helping individuals move from rigidity toward flexibility.
ACT helps cultivate psychological flexibility through six interconnected processes, often illustrated through the ACT Hexaflex:
Learning to make room for difficult emotions rather than fighting against them.
Creating distance from thoughts rather than becoming entangled in them.
Developing mindful awareness of current experience.
Recognizing that we are more than our thoughts, emotions, or experiences.
Clarifying what truly matters in life.
Taking meaningful steps toward valued goals.
Together, these processes help individuals build lives guided by purpose rather than avoidance.
ACT is considered an evidence-based treatment and has been studied extensively across a wide range of psychological conditions.
Research has demonstrated effectiveness for:
Because ACT focuses on universal psychological processes rather than specific diagnoses, it can be applied across many different clinical concerns.
For many individuals, ACT offers a powerful alternative to the struggle against difficult emotions. Rather than promising a life free from pain, ACT helps people develop the skills necessary to respond to suffering with greater openness, compassion, flexibility, and courage.
Whether you are seeking support for trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, grief, or major life transitions, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy provides practical tools for building a life guided by meaning, purpose, and personal values.
At its core, ACT is not about eliminating discomfort—it is about creating the freedom to live fully, even when discomfort is present.

At the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a model known as the ACT Hexaflex. The Hexaflex consists of six interconnected psychological processes that work together to cultivate psychological flexibility—the ability to remain present, open, and engaged in life while responding effectively to challenges and pursuing what matters most.
Rather than attempting to eliminate emotional pain, the ACT Hexaflex helps individuals develop a healthier relationship with thoughts, feelings, memories, and physical sensations. These six processes are not separate techniques but interconnected skills that support resilience, emotional well-being, and meaningful living.
The six core processes are:
Acceptance involves making room for difficult thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations rather than struggling against them.
Many people naturally attempt to avoid anxiety, sadness, grief, shame, self-doubt, or painful memories. While avoidance may provide temporary relief, it often increases suffering over time and limits a person's ability to engage fully in life.
Acceptance does not mean:
Instead, acceptance means acknowledging reality as it is and allowing difficult internal experiences to be present without unnecessary resistance.
Imagine standing in the ocean while trying to hold a beach ball underwater.
The more forcefully you push it down, the more energy it requires.
Eventually the ball pops back up with even greater force.
Similarly, the harder we fight our emotions, the more powerful they often become.
Acceptance involves allowing the beach ball to float alongside us rather than exhausting ourselves trying to suppress it.
Making room for emotions by noticing:
Asking:
"Am I willing to experience this feeling if it allows me to move toward what matters?"
Learning to stop fighting internal experiences that cannot be controlled.
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Cognitive defusion refers to changing how we relate to our thoughts.
Many people become fused with thoughts such as:
When fused, these thoughts feel like objective facts.
Defusion helps us recognize that thoughts are simply mental events—not necessarily truths.
Imagine holding a sheet of paper directly in front of your face.
You can see nothing else.
The paper represents a thought.
Defusion involves moving the paper farther away so that you can still see it while also seeing everything around it.
The thought remains present but no longer dominates awareness.
Imagine placing each thought on a leaf floating down a stream.
Notice the thought.
Allow it to pass.
Return attention to the present moment.
Instead of: "I'm a failure."
You might say: "I'm having the 'I'm a failure' story again."
Repeating a difficult thought in a cartoon voice to weaken its grip.
Present Moment Awareness refers to consciously attending to what is happening right now.
Many people spend large portions of their lives:
While these abilities are useful, excessive time spent outside the present moment often contributes to anxiety, depression, and emotional distress.
ACT teaches mindfulness skills that help people reconnect with current experience.
Imagine drinking a cup of coffee.
You may be physically holding the cup while mentally replaying yesterday's argument or worrying about tomorrow's meeting.
Mindfulness involves fully noticing:
This simple shift brings attention back to life as it is unfolding.
Notice:
Returning attention to the breath whenever the mind wanders.
Paying attention to bodily sensations during movement.
One of the most unique aspects of ACT is the concept of Self-as-Context.
Many people define themselves through:
Examples:
ACT proposes that there is a deeper aspect of self that exists beyond these experiences.
Self-as-Context is the observing part of ourselves that notices thoughts, feelings, memories, and sensations without being defined by them.
Imagine the sky and the weather.
Thoughts and emotions are like clouds.
Sometimes they are dark and stormy.
Sometimes they are bright and clear.
The sky remains present regardless of the weather.
Self-as-Context is like the sky.
Noticing thoughts without becoming them.
Thoughts and emotions are chess pieces.
You are the board that contains them.
Asking:
"What is aware of this thought right now?"
Values represent personally meaningful directions in life.
Unlike goals, values are ongoing qualities of action.
Examples include:
Values provide guidance even during difficult times.
A person may value connection.
Even when experiencing anxiety, they can choose actions that move them toward meaningful relationships.
Values help people organize their lives around what matters most rather than around avoidance.
Exploring:
Reflecting on how one hopes to be remembered.
Imagining what loved ones might say about the life you lived.
Committed Action involves taking meaningful steps aligned with personal values.
Values tell us where we want to go.
Committed Action helps us move in that direction.
Importantly, action often comes before motivation.
Many people wait to feel confident before acting.
ACT encourages action despite discomfort.
A person who values connection may:
even while experiencing anxiety.
The goal is not to eliminate fear before acting.
The goal is to act in service of values while making room for fear.
Breaking large goals into manageable actions.
Creating specific value-driven actions each week.
Asking:
The six processes of the ACT Hexaflex work together to foster psychological flexibility. Acceptance helps us make room for difficult experiences. Cognitive Defusion helps us step back from unhelpful thoughts. Present Moment Awareness grounds us in the here and now. Self-as-Context reminds us that we are more than our thoughts and feelings. Values clarify what matters most. Committed Action helps us build a meaningful life guided by those values.
Together, these skills form the foundation of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and offer a practical roadmap for responding to life's challenges with greater resilience, self-compassion, and purpose.
This video uses the metaphor of an unwelcome party guest to illustrate how you might struggle with unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Instead of trying to force these unwelcome feelings to leave, ACT encourages you to accept their presence and focus on what truly matters in your life. Through this approachable and relatable analogy, you will gain insights into how acceptance and mindfulness can lead to greater psychological flexibility and a more fulfilling life.

One of the strengths of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is its versatility. Rather than focusing solely on reducing symptoms, ACT targets the underlying psychological processes that contribute to suffering across many different mental health concerns. By helping individuals develop greater psychological flexibility, ACT can be effectively applied to anxiety, depression, trauma, OCD, ADHD, grief, stress, and many other challenges.
The following sections describe how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy may be used to support healing and growth across a variety of emotional and psychological concerns.
Many people struggling with anxiety spend enormous amounts of time trying to eliminate worry, avoid discomfort, or gain certainty about the future. Unfortunately, these efforts often intensify anxiety rather than resolve it.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for anxiety takes a different approach. Instead of attempting to eliminate anxious thoughts and feelings, ACT helps individuals change their relationship with anxiety so that it no longer dictates their choices or limits their lives.
Individuals seeking ACT for anxiety, ACT therapist, anxiety therapy, or online anxiety treatment often discover that anxiety itself is not the primary problem. Rather, the struggle against anxiety can become the source of suffering.
ACT teaches skills such as:
Rather than asking, "How do I stop feeling anxious?" ACT encourages a different question:
"How can I live a meaningful life even when anxiety shows up?"
Research has demonstrated that ACT can be highly effective for:
For many individuals, ACT helps reduce the impact of anxiety while increasing confidence, resilience, and emotional flexibility.
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Depression often pulls individuals away from activities, relationships, and experiences that once brought meaning and fulfillment. Many people become trapped in cycles of self-criticism, hopelessness, withdrawal, and emotional numbness.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for depression focuses on helping individuals reconnect with life even when difficult emotions remain present.
Rather than attempting to challenge every negative thought, ACT teaches people to recognize thoughts as thoughts while directing attention toward meaningful action.
ACT for depression may help individuals:
ACT recognizes that waiting to feel motivated before taking action often keeps people stuck.
Instead, meaningful action can help create the conditions for emotional recovery.
Individuals seeking ACT for depression, depression counseling, or therapy for low motivation often benefit from learning how to move toward their values despite feelings of discouragement or hopelessness.
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Trauma often leaves individuals struggling with intrusive memories, emotional overwhelm, hypervigilance, shame, avoidance, and a diminished sense of safety.
While ACT is not a trauma-processing therapy like EMDR, it can be a powerful complement to trauma treatment.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps trauma survivors:
Many trauma survivors understandably attempt to avoid reminders of painful experiences. While avoidance may provide temporary relief, it can also restrict life and reinforce PTSD symptoms.
ACT helps individuals learn how to carry painful memories differently rather than organizing their lives around avoiding them.
ACT is often integrated with:
Individuals searching for ACT for PTSD, ACT for trauma, complex PTSD treatment, or trauma-informed therapy may find that ACT provides valuable tools for reclaiming a meaningful life after trauma.
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Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often involves distressing intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety or uncertainty.
ACT has emerged as an effective treatment approach for OCD, particularly when combined with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
ACT helps individuals:
Rather than trying to prove that obsessive thoughts are false, ACT teaches individuals how to stop treating every thought as a threat that requires action.
This approach can be especially helpful for:
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Panic attacks often become frightening not only because of the symptoms themselves but because of the fear of future panic attacks.
ACT helps individuals break this cycle by changing their relationship with bodily sensations and fear responses.
Treatment focuses on:
Many individuals with panic disorder begin avoiding places, situations, or experiences associated with panic.
ACT helps people gradually reclaim their lives while learning that anxiety and physical discomfort can be tolerated without catastrophe.
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ACT can be highly beneficial for adults with ADHD who struggle with attention, impulsivity, emotional regulation, self-criticism, procrastination, and executive functioning challenges.
Many adults with ADHD carry years of frustration, shame, and self-judgment stemming from repeated experiences of feeling different or falling short of expectations.
ACT helps individuals:
Rather than focusing exclusively on symptom control, ACT helps individuals build a healthier relationship with their ADHD while creating systems that support meaningful goals.
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Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something important. Yet many individuals feel pressure to "move on" or stop experiencing painful emotions.
ACT offers a compassionate framework for grief by recognizing that healing does not require forgetting or eliminating sorrow.
ACT helps individuals:
Rather than asking individuals to let go of their grief, ACT encourages them to integrate grief into a larger life story while continuing to engage in meaningful relationships and activities.
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Many men grow up receiving messages that emotional vulnerability is weakness and that difficult emotions should be hidden or suppressed.
These cultural expectations can contribute to:
ACT helps men develop a different relationship with emotions while remaining aligned with their values, strengths, and personal goals.
Common themes include:
ACT's practical, action-oriented framework often resonates with men seeking meaningful personal growth while maintaining a focus on concrete life goals.
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Modern life often places tremendous demands on our time, attention, and energy. Chronic stress can gradually lead to emotional exhaustion, disconnection, cynicism, and burnout.
ACT helps individuals respond more effectively to stress by developing:
Rather than endlessly chasing productivity, ACT encourages individuals to reconnect with what truly matters while developing healthier ways of responding to life's inevitable challenges.
Individuals searching for stress management therapy, burnout treatment, ACT for stress, or therapy for work stress often find that ACT provides practical tools for reducing overwhelm and creating a more balanced, meaningful life.
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The concept of uncertainty is a fundamental aspect of the human experience, yet it often triggers distress and anxiety when faced with unknown outcomes or unpredictable situations. ACT offers a unique approach to addressing uncertainty by encouraging individuals to embrace it rather than avoid or control it. In ACT, clients learn to accept the presence of uncertainty as a natural part of life and to cultivate mindfulness skills to observe their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Through values clarification exercises, clients identify what truly matters to them and commit to taking actions aligned with their values, even in the face of uncertainty. By developing psychological flexibility and willingness to experience discomfort, individuals can reduce the impact of uncertainty on their lives and pursue meaningful goals despite the inherent unpredictability of the future. ACT empowers clients to embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for growth and resilience rather than a source of fear or avoidance.
In the realm of ACT, the adage "perfect is the enemy of good" carries significant weight. This principle underscores the importance of embracing imperfection and acknowledging that the pursuit of perfection often obstructs progress and well-being. In ACT, individuals learn to cultivate psychological flexibility by accepting their thoughts and feelings without judgment, and then committing to actions aligned with their values. Striving for perfection can lead to avoidance, procrastination, and a cycle of self-criticism, ultimately hindering growth and fulfillment. By embracing the concept that "good enough" is sufficient, individuals can break free from the shackles of perfectionism and engage more fully in meaningful actions that contribute to a rich and meaningful life.
One of the most common questions people ask when exploring psychotherapy is: "Which therapy approach is right for me?" While there is no single therapy that works best for everyone, understanding the differences between various evidence-based treatments can help you make a more informed decision.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) shares similarities with many other therapeutic approaches while also offering a unique perspective on emotional suffering, psychological growth, and lasting change. Rather than focusing solely on symptom reduction, ACT emphasizes psychological flexibility, values-based living, and developing a healthier relationship with difficult thoughts and emotions.
The following sections compare ACT with several other commonly used therapeutic approaches.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) share common roots within behavioral psychology and are both considered evidence-based treatments for a wide range of mental health concerns.
However, they differ in how they approach thoughts and emotions.
CBT often focuses on identifying and modifying distorted or unhelpful thoughts.
Examples:
A CBT therapist may ask:
"Is this thought accurate?"
or
"What evidence supports this belief?"
ACT places less emphasis on determining whether thoughts are true or false.
Instead, ACT focuses on how individuals relate to their thoughts.
An ACT therapist may ask:
"Is this thought helping you live the life you want to live?"
or
"Can you make room for this thought while still moving toward what matters?"
CBT
ACT
Research suggests that both CBT and ACT can be highly effective.
Some individuals prefer CBT's structured focus on thought modification, while others find ACT's acceptance-based approach more helpful when dealing with chronic anxiety, trauma, shame, grief, or difficult life circumstances that cannot easily be changed.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are both effective treatments, but they serve different functions.
EMDR focuses primarily on processing and resolving traumatic memories.
It is often used for:
EMDR helps the brain reprocess memories so they become less emotionally activating.
ACT focuses less on specific memories and more on how individuals relate to their current thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
ACT helps clients:
In many cases, ACT and EMDR complement one another beautifully.
EMDR may help process traumatic memories.
ACT may help clients:
Because of this, many trauma therapists integrate ACT principles alongside EMDR therapy.
EMDR may be particularly beneficial when unresolved traumatic memories remain highly distressing.
ACT may be particularly helpful when individuals are struggling with avoidance, anxiety, self-criticism, or difficulty moving toward meaningful goals.
Mindfulness plays an important role within ACT, but ACT is much broader than mindfulness alone.
Mindfulness involves intentionally paying attention to present-moment experience with openness, curiosity, and nonjudgment.
Common mindfulness practices include:
ACT incorporates mindfulness but also includes:
ACT asks not only:
"Can you become more present?"
but also:
"What kind of life do you want to create?"
Mindfulness teaches awareness.
ACT teaches awareness in service of meaningful action.
For many people, ACT provides a practical framework for applying mindfulness skills directly to everyday challenges and life goals.
Both ACT and Somatic Therapy recognize that emotional experiences involve more than thoughts alone.
However, their primary focus differs.
Somatic approaches such as:
focus heavily on:
Somatic therapy emphasizes the body's role in healing trauma and emotional distress.
ACT primarily focuses on:
While ACT certainly incorporates awareness of bodily experiences, it does not typically emphasize nervous system regulation to the same degree as somatic approaches.
Many clients benefit from integrating both approaches.
Somatic Therapy may help regulate the nervous system.
ACT may help individuals build a more flexible and compassionate relationship with their inner experiences.
Together they can support healing at both psychological and physiological levels.
Traditional talk therapy often involves exploring:
Insight and self-understanding can be powerful components of healing.
ACT certainly values insight, but it places greater emphasis on:
ACT is generally more experiential and action-oriented than many traditional insight-focused therapies.
A traditional therapist may ask:
"Why do you think this pattern developed?"
An ACT therapist may ask:
"Given that this pattern exists, what would help you move toward the life you want?"
Traditional therapy often focuses on understanding problems.
ACT focuses on building flexibility and creating meaningful change.
Both approaches can be valuable, and many therapists integrate elements of each.
Exposure Therapy is considered one of the most effective treatments for anxiety disorders, OCD, phobias, and PTSD.
Exposure involves gradually confronting feared situations, thoughts, memories, or sensations.
The goal is to reduce avoidance and increase tolerance for discomfort.
ACT also encourages willingness to experience discomfort, but it frames exposure differently.
Rather than focusing solely on reducing fear, ACT emphasizes:
An ACT therapist might ask:
"What meaningful action becomes possible when you stop organizing your life around fear?"
Many contemporary clinicians integrate ACT and Exposure Therapy.
ACT often enhances exposure work by helping clients:
This combination can be particularly effective for:
Every therapy approach offers unique strengths, and many experienced clinicians integrate multiple evidence-based modalities depending on the needs of the individual.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy stands out because it helps people develop the psychological flexibility to navigate life's challenges while remaining connected to what matters most. Rather than promising a life free from pain, ACT teaches individuals how to build a rich, meaningful, and purposeful life alongside the inevitable difficulties that accompany being human.
For many people, ACT works exceptionally well on its own. For others, it can be effectively combined with EMDR therapy, Somatic Experiencing®, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, mindfulness practices, exposure-based treatments, and other evidence-based approaches to support lasting growth and healing.
One of the reasons Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has become so popular is that it offers practical exercises and powerful metaphors that help people apply psychological flexibility in everyday life. Rather than simply talking about change, ACT encourages experiential learning through exercises that help individuals relate differently to their thoughts, emotions, memories, and life challenges.
Many of these exercises are designed to help people move away from struggling with their internal experiences and toward living a life guided by their values. The following are some of the most well-known and effective ACT exercises and techniques.
The Leaves on a Stream exercise is one of the most widely used cognitive defusion techniques in ACT.
Imagine sitting beside a gently flowing stream. As thoughts arise, place each thought on a leaf and allow it to float downstream.
The goal is not to force thoughts away or replace them with positive thoughts. Instead, the exercise helps individuals observe thoughts without becoming entangled in them.
Whether the thought is:
the practice remains the same:
Notice the thought.
Place it on a leaf.
Allow it to drift away.
Return your attention to the present moment.
Over time, this exercise helps people recognize that thoughts are simply mental events—not commands, facts, or predictions that must be obeyed.
The Passengers on the Bus metaphor was developed by Steven Hayes and is one of the most powerful illustrations of psychological flexibility.
Imagine that you are driving a bus.
Your passengers represent:
Some passengers may shout:
"Turn around!"
"You can't do this!"
"You're going to fail!"
Many people spend their lives arguing with these passengers or allowing them to dictate where the bus goes.
ACT offers a different perspective.
You do not have to throw the passengers off the bus.
You do not have to silence them.
You simply continue driving toward your values while allowing the passengers to come along for the ride.
The goal is not to eliminate fear.
The goal is to stop allowing fear to determine the direction of your life.
Imagine standing at the edge of a cliff engaged in a tug of war with a powerful monster.
Between you and the monster is a deep pit.
The harder you pull, the harder the monster pulls back.
You become exhausted.
The struggle continues.
Many people approach anxiety, trauma, shame, or self-doubt in exactly this way.
They spend years trying to win the battle.
ACT introduces a simple but profound alternative:
Drop the rope.
The goal is not to defeat the monster.
The goal is to stop organizing your life around fighting it.
When you stop pulling, the monster may still be present, but the struggle no longer consumes your energy.
This metaphor beautifully illustrates the difference between acceptance and resignation.
Acceptance is not giving up.
It is stepping out of a battle that cannot be won through force.
The Choice Point is a practical ACT tool that helps individuals make decisions aligned with their values.
At any given moment, we are faced with a choice:
Will this action move me:
or
For example:
A person struggling with social anxiety may have the choice to:
The decision is not evaluated based on whether anxiety is present.
The question becomes:
"Which choice moves me toward the life I want to create?"
The Choice Point helps individuals recognize that meaningful change often occurs through countless small decisions made throughout everyday life.
One of the most profound concepts in ACT is the Observing Self, sometimes called Self-as-Context.
Many people become fused with their experiences:
ACT invites individuals to discover the deeper awareness that exists beneath these stories.
Imagine the sky.
Thoughts and emotions are like weather patterns:
The weather changes constantly.
The sky remains.
The Observing Self is like the sky.
It is the part of you that notices thoughts, emotions, memories, and sensations without being defined by them.
Developing contact with this perspective often helps reduce shame, increase resilience, and foster greater emotional freedom.
Values serve as the compass of ACT.
Unlike goals, which can be achieved and completed, values represent ongoing directions that guide how we want to live.
Examples include:
One of the most common ACT exercises involves exploring questions such as:
When people reconnect with their values, they often discover renewed motivation and meaning.
Values provide direction even when life becomes difficult.
The phrase "Drop the Rope" has become one of the most recognizable ACT concepts.
Many people become trapped in endless battles with:
The harder they fight, the more exhausted they become.
ACT encourages individuals to ask:
"What would happen if I stopped fighting this experience?"
Dropping the rope does not mean liking anxiety.
It does not mean approving of suffering.
It means redirecting energy away from the struggle and toward living.
Often, freedom begins when we stop trying to win unwinnable battles.

Kelly Wilson, PhD, an internationally renowned ACT teacher, innovatively introduced the metaphorical concept of "Math Problems vs. Sunsets" to provoke contemplation on how individuals engage with the world. This metaphor encapsulates the choice of perceiving life either as a complex math problem requiring constant solving or as a beautiful sunset, inviting appreciation without the need for immediate resolution.
In the realm of ACT, clients are guided to step out of the confines of overthinking and establish a deeper connection with their values through mindful appreciation. This approach empowers individuals to cultivate a more enriching and purpose-driven life by embracing the present moment and aligning their actions with their core values.

Often, people encapsulate their experiences in narrow, limiting stories that only reveal a fraction of their reality. The concept of slow is fast and small is big challenges the idea that significant change can only occur through monumental events and rapid resolutions.
Consider the metaphor of standing in front of an elephant's leg and perceiving it as the trunk of a tree. This distorted view represents the incomplete narratives individuals construct about their lives. In the context of ACT, this metaphor underscores the tendency to misinterpret or oversimplify complex situations. However, when one steps back, takes a slower and more deliberate examination, and embraces a broader perspective, the full reality of the entire elephant becomes apparent.
Similarly, ACT encourages individuals to step back from their immediate thoughts, emotions, and narratives, allowing them to gain a more comprehensive understanding of their experiences. "Small is big" emphasizes the significance of small, mindful steps, recognizing that subtle changes and everyday actions can lead to profound transformations over time. "Slow is fast" challenges the impulse for quick fixes, advocating for a patient and thorough exploration of one's values and experiences, ultimately fostering lasting and meaningful change.
By incorporating the principles of "small is big and slow is fast" into the therapeutic process, individuals can move beyond the constraints of their narrow narratives, embracing a more holistic view of their lives. This mindset shift promotes psychological flexibility, encouraging clients to adapt to life's challenges with a deeper understanding and a commitment to actions aligned with their values.
Explore articles on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the leading evidence-based approaches for anxiety, depression, trauma, PTSD, stress, emotional well-being, and personal growth. These resources cover psychological flexibility, mindfulness, acceptance, cognitive defusion, self-as-context, values, self-compassion, and committed action—the six core processes that help individuals build meaningful lives while navigating difficult thoughts, emotions, and life challenges.
New to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy? Start here to learn the foundations of ACT, psychological flexibility, and the ACT Hexaflex.
Values help us identify what matters most, while committed action helps us move toward the life we want to live. Explore articles on purpose, meaning, motivation, behavior change, and values-based living.
Acceptance is one of the core pillars of ACT. Learn how emotional avoidance, resistance, suppression, and aversion can contribute to suffering, and how openness and willingness can support resilience and growth.
Cognitive defusion helps us step back from thoughts rather than becoming entangled in them. Learn practical strategies for reducing overthinking, rumination, worry, and self-judgment.
Self-as-Context refers to the observing self—the part of us that notices thoughts, emotions, and experiences without being defined by them.
Mindfulness helps us reconnect with the present moment and reduce the impact of worry, rumination, stress, and emotional suffering.
Psychological flexibility is the central goal of ACT. These articles explore resilience, behavior change, emotional avoidance, cognitive rigidity, and the nature of human suffering.
Learn how ACT can be applied to common human experiences, cognitive biases, uncertainty, fear, decision-making, comparison, and personal growth.
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As a licensed clinical psychologist, I provide online Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for adults throughout California, Hawaii, Florida, Virginia, and Washington DC. My practice specializes in helping individuals navigate anxiety, depression, trauma, PTSD, stress, burnout, relationship challenges, grief, life transitions, and other emotional difficulties through secure telehealth services.
ACT is one of the most widely researched behavioral therapies available today and has been shown to be effective for a wide range of mental health concerns. Rather than focusing solely on symptom reduction, ACT helps individuals develop greater psychological flexibility, strengthen emotional resilience, clarify personal values, and build more meaningful and fulfilling lives.
Many individuals searching for:
are looking for a therapist who combines specialized expertise with insurance accessibility.
I am currently in-network with Cigna/Evernorth, allowing many clients to access high-quality psychotherapy using their mental health benefits. Coverage and out-of-pocket costs vary by plan, so I encourage clients to verify their specific benefits directly with Cigna/Evernorth.
For individuals with insurance plans that I do not accept, I can provide monthly superbills that may be submitted for possible out-of-network reimbursement depending on your policy.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can be particularly effective for individuals experiencing:
ACT helps clients develop practical skills for responding to difficult thoughts and emotions while remaining connected to what matters most in their lives.
As a licensed psychologist in California, I provide online ACT therapy throughout California, including Los Angeles, San Diego, Orange County, San Francisco, Sacramento, San Jose, Riverside, Fresno, Oakland, and surrounding communities.Individuals searching for ACT therapist California, online ACT therapy California, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy California, or Cigna therapist California can access treatment through secure telehealth sessions without the need to travel to an office.
I also provide online ACT therapy in Hawaii, serving clients throughout Oahu, Maui, Kauai, and the Big Island.Whether you are searching for an ACT therapist Hawaii, online therapy Hawaii, Cigna therapist Hawaii, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Hawaii, telehealth allows individuals across the islands to access specialized mental health care from their home or workplace.
I also provide online ACT therapy in Hawaii, serving clients throughout Oahu, Maui, Kauai, and the Big Island.Whether you are searching for an ACT therapist Hawaii, online therapy Hawaii, Cigna therapist Hawaii, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Hawaii, telehealth allows individuals across the islands to access specialized mental health care from their home or workplace.
For adults living in Florida, I provide virtual ACT therapy throughout the state, including Miami, Fort Lauderdale, West Palm Beach, Orlando, Tampa, St. Petersburg, Jacksonville, Naples, Sarasota, and surrounding areas.Individuals searching for ACT therapist Florida, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Florida, online therapist Florida, or Cigna therapist Florida may benefit from secure telehealth services designed to support long-term emotional well-being and personal growth.
I provide online ACT therapy throughout Virginia, including Northern Virginia, Arlington, Alexandria, Fairfax, Richmond, Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Charlottesville, Roanoke, and surrounding communities.Individuals seeking an ACT therapist Virginia, online ACT therapy Virginia, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Virginia, or a Cigna psychologist Virginia can access evidence-based care through secure video sessions.
For adults living in the District of Columbia, I offer online ACT therapy in Washington DC for anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, burnout, grief, and relationship concerns.Whether you are searching for an ACT therapist Washington DC, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy DC, online therapy Washington DC, or a Cigna therapist DC, telehealth provides a flexible and accessible option for receiving specialized psychological services.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not about eliminating difficult thoughts and emotions. Instead, it helps individuals develop the flexibility to respond to life's challenges with greater openness, self-compassion, resilience, and purpose.If you are looking for an ACT therapist accepting Cigna/Evernorth, online ACT therapy, virtual therapy for anxiety, telehealth trauma therapy, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in California, Hawaii, Florida, Virginia, or Washington DC, I would be happy to discuss whether my services may be a good fit for your needs.
Trauma can profoundly impact the way we think, feel, relate to others, and experience ourselves. Whether the trauma stems from a single overwhelming event or from repeated experiences such as childhood neglect, abuse, attachment wounds, bullying, discrimination, medical trauma, or relationship betrayal, its effects can linger long after the original danger has passed.
Many trauma survivors struggle with:
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a compassionate, evidence-based approach to trauma recovery that focuses not only on reducing suffering but also on helping individuals reconnect with what matters most in their lives.
One of the central ideas of ACT is that psychological suffering often increases when individuals become trapped in patterns of avoidance, emotional struggle, and attempts to control internal experiences.
For trauma survivors, these strategies are often understandable and adaptive responses to overwhelming events.
You may find yourself:
While these strategies may initially provide a sense of safety, they can gradually limit freedom, connection, and personal growth.
ACT helps individuals develop psychological flexibility—the ability to remain present, open, and engaged in life even when difficult thoughts, emotions, and memories arise.
The goal is not to forget what happened.
The goal is to help trauma stop determining what is possible for your future.
One of the most common misconceptions about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is that acceptance means approving of, liking, or accepting traumatic experiences.
This is not what ACT teaches.
ACT does not ask individuals to accept abuse, violence, neglect, discrimination, or other harmful experiences.
Instead, ACT focuses on accepting the reality that painful memories, emotions, and bodily sensations may exist without allowing them to completely dictate how we live our lives.
Acceptance in ACT means:
Acceptance is not surrender.
It is creating space for healing.
Many individuals living with PTSD become trapped in cycles of avoidance.
Avoidance may involve:
While avoidance can reduce distress in the short term, it often reinforces PTSD symptoms over time.
ACT helps trauma survivors gradually build the willingness to experience difficult emotions and memories while reconnecting with life.
Research suggests that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help reduce:
while improving:
Many individuals seeking therapy are not struggling with a single traumatic event but rather with the cumulative effects of chronic childhood experiences.
Complex trauma may involve:
These experiences can shape how individuals view themselves, others, and the world.
Common beliefs may include:
ACT helps individuals develop a different relationship with these painful stories through a process called cognitive defusion.
Rather than treating these beliefs as objective truths, individuals learn to recognize them as learned experiences that do not have to define their future.
Shame is often one of the most painful consequences of trauma.
Many trauma survivors carry profound feelings of:
ACT helps individuals respond to shame differently.
Rather than attempting to eliminate shame, ACT encourages:
Over time, individuals often learn that they can experience shame without allowing it to dictate their identity.
Perhaps the most powerful aspect of ACT is its emphasis on values.
Trauma often narrows life.
People may stop pursuing:
The focus becomes survival.
ACT helps individuals gradually reconnect with what matters most.
Rather than asking:
"How do I stop feeling this way?"
ACT asks:
"What kind of life do I want to build, even if difficult emotions continue to arise?"
This shift often marks the beginning of profound healing.
Healing from trauma involves more than simply reducing symptoms.
True recovery often includes:
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy provides a powerful framework for this journey.
While ACT cannot erase painful experiences, it can help individuals develop the psychological flexibility needed to carry those experiences differently—creating more space for connection, growth, resilience, and a life that feels rich, meaningful, and worth living.

Choosing a therapist is an important decision. While many mental health professionals incorporate elements of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy into their work, relatively few have pursued extensive specialized training with the leading developers, researchers, and trainers who helped shape ACT into one of today's most respected evidence-based therapies.
As a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with more than 20 years of clinical experience, I have spent the past decade deepening my expertise in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy through advanced training, consultation, and continuing education with many of the most influential voices in the ACT community.
My ACT training includes coursework with Dr. Steven C. Hayes, one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the originator of the psychological flexibility model that underlies ACT. I have also completed advanced training with Dr. Kelly Wilson, a co-founder of ACT whose work has helped shape the field for decades, as well as Dr. Robyn Walser, a leading ACT trainer and author known for her work applying ACT to trauma, anxiety, anger, and emotional resilience. Additional training with Emily Sandoz, PhD, and Matthew Booney, LCSW, has further strengthened my understanding of ACT principles and their practical application in psychotherapy.
Beyond my ACT training, I bring a broad trauma-informed perspective to treatment as an EMDRIA-Certified EMDR Therapist, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, and Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner (SEP). This allows me to integrate ACT with other evidence-based approaches when clinically appropriate, helping clients address not only difficult thoughts and emotions, but also the impact of trauma, attachment wounds, nervous system dysregulation, and longstanding patterns of avoidance.
My approach to ACT is collaborative, experiential, and compassionate. Rather than focusing solely on symptom reduction, I help clients develop greater psychological flexibility, strengthen emotional resilience, clarify personal values, and build lives that feel meaningful and authentic. Whether you are struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, self-criticism, relationship challenges, or life transitions, ACT offers practical tools for navigating life's inevitable difficulties while moving toward what matters most.
If you are looking for an ACT therapist, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy psychologist, or online ACT therapy in California, Hawaii, Florida, Virginia, or Washington DC, I would be honored to support you on your journey toward greater flexibility, resilience, and well-being.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based psychotherapy approach that helps individuals develop greater psychological flexibility. Rather than trying to eliminate difficult thoughts and emotions, ACT teaches people how to respond to them more effectively while taking meaningful actions aligned with their values.
While both ACT and CBT are evidence-based therapies, CBT often focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts, whereas ACT focuses on changing your relationship with thoughts. ACT teaches skills such as acceptance, mindfulness, cognitive defusion, and values-based action rather than challenging the content of thoughts directly.
Yes. ACT is supported by hundreds of scientific studies and has been shown to be effective for a wide range of mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, chronic pain, OCD, stress, substance use disorders, and relationship difficulties.
Psychological flexibility is the ability to remain present, open, and engaged in life even when experiencing difficult thoughts, emotions, or circumstances. It is considered the central goal of ACT and is associated with greater resilience, emotional well-being, and life satisfaction.
The six core processes of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy are:
Together, these processes help individuals develop psychological flexibility and build meaningful lives.
Yes. ACT is widely used to treat anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety, social anxiety, health anxiety, performance anxiety, and panic disorder. ACT helps individuals develop a healthier relationship with anxiety while reducing avoidance and increasing engagement in valued activities.
Yes. ACT has been shown to be effective in treating depression by helping individuals reduce rumination, reconnect with personal values, increase meaningful activity, and develop greater self-compassion and psychological flexibility.
ACT can be highly effective for trauma and PTSD, particularly when integrated with trauma-focused approaches such as EMDR therapy, Somatic Experiencing®, or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. ACT helps individuals reduce avoidance, increase emotional tolerance, and build a meaningful life beyond trauma.
Values are personally meaningful qualities that guide how you want to live your life. Examples include compassion, honesty, courage, connection, growth, and authenticity. Unlike goals, values are ongoing directions rather than destinations.
ACT sessions may include mindfulness exercises, discussions about values, exploration of difficult thoughts and emotions, cognitive defusion techniques, behavioral exercises, and the development of practical strategies for moving toward meaningful goals. Sessions are collaborative, experiential, and tailored to each individual's needs.
Yes. Research has demonstrated that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can be highly effective through telehealth and online therapy. Many ACT exercises, mindfulness practices, and values-based interventions translate well to secure video sessions.
Jodi Picoult
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